Riding The Oceans
Unsuspecting, we rode the oceans
Wildly mysterious, and beautifully free
Blinded as we were, we laughed
And smiled as we dared the breeze
We never saw the waves coming
Not till we drowned in their hold
Not till we fought and struggled
And grappled for air, all alone and cold
Slowly, we learned to breathe underwater
And breath by breath, we eased into this life
We swam and we frolicked, delighted by these wonders
And, we started enjoying this fleeting dive
Months have passed now, and we remain underwater
Each day passes, the 'now' ordinary
We have done what we never imagined
And at night, we lie content with the usual beauty
But deep in the hearts and minds as we lie,
Our thoughts wander off to the day we would surface then
Maybe tomorrow or maybe centuries it might be
Before we laugh and smile, as we ride the oceans again
-Hitishaa Goyal
Wildly mysterious, and beautifully free
Blinded as we were, we laughed
And smiled as we dared the breeze
We never saw the waves coming
Not till we drowned in their hold
Not till we fought and struggled
And grappled for air, all alone and cold
Slowly, we learned to breathe underwater
And breath by breath, we eased into this life
We swam and we frolicked, delighted by these wonders
And, we started enjoying this fleeting dive
Months have passed now, and we remain underwater
Each day passes, the 'now' ordinary
We have done what we never imagined
And at night, we lie content with the usual beauty
But deep in the hearts and minds as we lie,
Our thoughts wander off to the day we would surface then
Maybe tomorrow or maybe centuries it might be
Before we laugh and smile, as we ride the oceans again
-Hitishaa Goyal
I like the fact that its cyclical. This worked very well.
ReplyDeleteI thought the concept of the poem was beautiful and evoked some beautiful imagery in my mind.
However, at times I felt that some of stanzas did not flow and perhaps sentence structures could be rearranged to flow better. If this is your first poem, then for a first attempt it is very well crafted and with a tweak or two could be even better.
Thank you :) I will definitely take your advice.
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